


The Golden Rule

by prominence12



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Gen, Human!Tower of Pimps, Minecraft, Tower of Pimps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-05-30
Packaged: 2017-12-12 16:45:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/813769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prominence12/pseuds/prominence12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, saw a Human!Tower of Pimps prompt.  See a need, fill a need I guess.</p><p>But I think this might turn into a pretty long thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This probably makes more sense if you are familiar with Herobrine.

Everything was still. It wasn't often that the world was alive but also still. Wolves and cattle wandered freely, chickens laid eggs, and squids did whatever it was that squids did. They were alive and moving, but nothing else was. There were no fires blazing through the trees, no mountains exploding, no flash floods, or massive slaughters. The beasts were away for once, but the world was still awake and living.

Out of the foggy distance, only one oddity stirred. He didn't come out often when the world was alive. Those beasts were enough for him to hide his existence. 

But now he surfaced from the depths of the world and took a walk. Pigs and Creepers alike stopped as he passed by, gently bowing there heads before carrying on there way. Lava parted at his feet as he walked straight across the landscape. 

It had been a long while since he had climbed to the over world, and he was not pleased at what he saw. The beasts had been busy. Very busy, it seemed. He passed large, foreign structures made from ripped up earth and materials from the bowels of hell. A pyramid of stone. How many spiders and skeletons lost their homes because of that? A giant structure of a Creeper made from wool. Those poor sheep. Did the beast not realize they get cold at night, too?

He finally came across what he assumed was the beast's homes. They had ripped apart the ground, creating an icon from the coats of more sheep. Downed trees had been contorted into shelters. Dirt had been built up and cobblestone stacked. Not to mention the monolith of refined stone that stood over all of it. 

All of these were just minor offenses in his eyes, though. The thing that made him well up with rage was the tragic beauty sitting in front of the cobblestone home, built into the hill. 

It sat there gleaming, a pile of gold that had been forcefully torn from the earth in mass, smelted down and forged into solid chunks, all stacked like a prize on the child of liquid and fire. It was a horrific and twisted thing to do. How rotten must the beast be to take something so naturally pure and refine it into an idol? 

He ran his hands along the unnaturally smooth edges of the gold, blank eyes narrowing at its coldness. He pressed his forehead against it, his mind humming. His lips were nothing but a solid, unmoving gash in his face, but his mind was connected. He could hear the hum that pulsed through every block in the world. He could feel the pain the gold had felt, cast into a box of fire and crafted into its current form. He felt every swing of a pickaxe that had been used to tear the idol down and reconstruct it else where. His fingers gripped the golden square, the torture and horror this beauty had seen coursing though every fiber of his being.

The beasts would pay for this transgression. 

He would make sure they felt pain.

Pressing his forehead closer to the gold, his mind hummed and reached out to the idol.

"I do not know if you can hear me. I know of your unimaginable pain, and I do not know if it is so strong that you can no longer hear over it. But if you can, I want to help you."

The gold was quiet for a long moment. He was about to give up and move away when he heard the faintest whimper resonate in his mind.

"Ah, there you are. I know you have been manipulated and molded, but do you know who I am?"

More whimpers and whispers buzzed through. He focused very intently, trying to make out what it was saying. 

"H-he-...."

"Hush. It is okay. Do not strain yourself. Now, I am going to need your help. Do you think you can do that for me? You know of the beasts far more than I. You know what they do. They destroy everything they can get their hands on. Look at what they have done to our once beautiful world. They take everything lovely and perfect and taint it. They hurt things. And that where you will come in. They have made a fatal error today. They have left the gateway between our land and theirs open. They left this place, but did not shut off our world. So I want you to go through, and I want you to make them hurt. No one is more deserving of the honor than you. Now, I know that seems frightening, but I will try to stay with you. I will try to stay linked with you though it all. Do you understand?"

The gold had gone quiet, listening very closely, before gently humming in conformation. 

"Now, I can't promise that this will not cause you pain. I have never crossed through myself, nor do I know of anything that has. But if the beasts can go back and forth, I don't see why you shouldn't"

He stood back from the idol and cast his hollow eyes upward. A static rift broke in the air, sending pixelated sparks through the sky. The rift expanded, sinking down and consuming the tower slowly. In his head he could hear the gold screaming, causing his mind to flare with pain as well.

"I'm sorry about this."

+-+-+-+-+

On a hot sunny day in beautiful Austin, Texas, a group of work friends had gone to Taco Bell for lunch. In such a hurry to full themselves with lovely fast-food goodness, one of the friends had left his XBox360 on, paused in a game of Minecraft. 

This meant no one was in the office when said friend's computer screen started to spark and his XBox began to smoke. 

Liquid gold started to bubble and ooze from the computer screen, spilling down onto the desk. A face, eyes and mouth closed, surfaced through the golden pool in the screen. A long, twisting body followed, coated in gold. The body slid out of the screen, down the desk and finally collected in a pool of gold on the floor. Lastly was a pair of feet, covered in a black-violet slime, thick with chunks of rock.

The last of the gold dripped from the computer screen, leaving it blank. The XBox sported a bright red ring. The desk and everything on it was ruined, drowning in golden soup. And there on the floor was a gold-soaked body.

"Jesus Christ, it smells like shit in here. Did somebody set off fireworks inside aga- HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

The office door opened, three dozen tacos clattered to the ground, and six pairs of eyes stared in stunned silence.


	2. Chapter 2

"My desk!"

"Fucking Christ..." Jack muttered, looking over his coworkers.

"Who cares about your fucking desk, there's a naked chick on the floor!"

"I care!"

"GUS! BERNIE!" Geoff hollered, scrambling into a run, heading deeper into the office building.

"MY XBOX!"

"Fucking CHRIST, GAVIN! THERE ARE BIGGER PROBLEMS THAN YOUR SHIT!" Michael yelled, gesturing furiously to the woman on the floor.

"Where the fuck did she come from?" Ray added, casually taking a sip from his Baha Blast.

"Where the hell is Kara?" Ryan asked to himself in the hallway, looking out the front door.

"MY TOWER! WHERE'S MY TOWER?!" Gavin cried, looking for his tiny clay victory prize. The second time he's ever gotten the tower, and now it was lost under a tidal wave of gold.

"GAVIN! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Michael knelled down, the metallic liquid soaking into his jeans. The lady on the floor looked like she was covered in gold liquid latex, and she had hair as long as balls. Like, seriously, if her hair wasn't all goopy it would probably be down to her ass. And seeing how tall she was, that would be impressive. She looked at least as tall as Ryan or Jack.

"So, not only did a golden, naked woman manage to get into the building, but she also managed to yak gold crap literally everywhere?" Ray stood next to Michael, now eating a slightly smushed taco, and tapped the woman's arm with his shoe.

"Hey, don't kick her, stupid." Jack scolded, moving to stand next to Ray.

A storm of footsteps came from the hallway, and suddenly Geoff, Gus, Burnie, and Matt appeared in the door. 

"Holy shit..." Gus muttered.

"See! Wasn't kidding!" Geoff wheezed, trying to catch his breath.

+-+-+-+-+

Noise. There was so much noise. 

Everything hurt. What was happening? There was no hum. He had promised he's do his best to stay connected, but there was no hum.

Only deafening noise.

Nothing felt right. No tall, solid structure. No hard edges could be felt. Something happened, all the shapes were wrong. Was this the floor? Lying down? What...what had happened?

Movement. Noise. Something touching. 

What was happening? 

Something was happening. A new noise. Very loud. Very close. 

It hurt.

+-+-+-+-+-+

Michael fell back on his ass, eyes wide, as the woman started screaming. There had been no warning at all. She hadn't twitched or moved. Even now her face was perfectly still. But her mouth had split open, a bubble of gold popping over her lips, and she screamed.

And kept screaming.

It was loud and horrific, a tortured, twisted sound coming out of something so calm and peaceful looking.

"The fuck did you do to her?!" Michael yelled at Ray, who simply looked horrified. 

More faces kept appearing in the doorway. With the power of social media, it didn't take long for everyone in the building to hear about the naked chick in the Achievement Hunter office. Even Monty had crawled out the dark hole he stays in to check it out.

A large clattering added to the chorus of noise as Gavin shoved most of his desk top to the floor, landing with a wet, gold thunk. He looked absolutely pissed, which was a pretty impressive feat, not to mention terrifying. Ruined keyboard, ruined mouse, ruined computer screen and ruined XBox. Lunch was on the floor along with a golden, screaming bitch. And he had simply had enough.

"For FUCKS SAKE, somebody shut her up!" He hollered. 

"Jesus, Gavin, calm down!" Jack said, taken aback by his anger.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN?! This mingy little bitch has RUINED my stuff!" He barked back, angrily grabbing his chair and smashing it into the side of his desk.

"To be fair, Gavin, I think we have a slightly bigger problem on our hands right now..." Ray said flatly, sipping his drink again.

"No, no we don't! I play video games for a living and now I have a Red-Ringed XBox! I can't edit shit because my computer is fried and there is a very loud screaming lady on the floor!" Without skipping a beat, Gavin crouched over the woman and grabbed her arms. His fingers slipped and slid across her slick skin, but once her finally got a good grip, he shook her violently.

"WILL YOU BLOODY SHUT UP!"

Michael and Jack both grabbed at Gavin, trying to pull him off of her. Gavin shoved them away and gripped the woman's face, forcibly shutting her jaw. Michael, Jack and Ray worked together now and tackled Gavin off of her and to the floor, causing the woman's head to fall back and bang into the ground.

While they tried to hold Gavin down, Ryan stared from the doorway. His eyes were narrowed and his brows furrowed, thinking hard. He looked between Gavin's desk and the lady, mentally drawing connections. Liquid gold starting on the desk, golden woman on the floor, black feet filled with gravel and rocks. His eyebrows shot up, staring incredulously at the woman.

"Hey Gavin, you said you couldn't find your Tower of Pimps, right? Well, I think I found it..."

He pointed to the woman, and every eye in the room followed. You could almost hear it when it clicked in everybody's head. Eyes widened and shot around, everyone looking to make sure they weren't the only one to realize. Was this woman on the floor really the Tower? The evidence seemed to support it, but it was too crazy to actually believe.

"Yeah, but-! No, she... This can't be the Tower of Pimps, guys!" Gavin sputtered, looking absolutely bewildered. "I mean, it can't be! That's not possible! That's just a game, isn't-"

"Gavin, shut up." Geoff suddenly said quietly.

"What...? Why?!"

"Because, you dumb fuck, I think she's awake."

Low and behold, there on the ground the woman had opened her eyes. Gavin and the others flinched back at the sight. There was something definitely wrong with her. Her irises were an unnatural goldenrod color, large and bright. But her pupils... there was something seriously wrong with her pupils. They weren't black. No, they were gold. Not gold like her irises, but gold like her skin and hair and like Gavin's desk. Liquid gold. Shimmering, shifting pools of metallic gold set into her eyes.

And they shifted, staring straight at Gavin.


	3. Chapter 3

Sight. Understood the concept, but never experienced it before. Vision had always been gold. That was all there had every been. Feeling, yes. Experienced feeling. Experienced pain. Could hear the hum of the world around, and could hear the voices of the beasts when they were nearby.

But sight? Sight was brand new. 

Everything stung, everything was so bright. 

None of these things made sense. Blocks. There were no blocks. Could not feel the grid-like web that wove the world together. Nothing was connected. 

This was chaos. 

This is where the beasts lived? In a loose and disconnected world? No wonder they were savages. 

Vision shifted. Weird sensation; feeling still but everything moving. What were those things? Didn't understand. The noise seemed to be coming from them, but what where they? They had no solid edges. They were...what were they? They were squiggly. They looked broken. Something not right with them.

Focused on the one thing. Noise was coming from it. Familiar noise. Why familiar? It moved. Actually, everything was moving. But the moving was not nice and chopped and orderly. It was wild. It was unorganized. No grid, no order. Just loose and abstract objects flying around.

More noises from all around. Most familiar, some brand new. One got very loud, extremely loud. Vision shifted again. Loud noise, coming from one of the things that was now way, way too close. Had that always been there?

Touching. Something was touching. Everything was moving. Not just vision, but self. Everything shifted.

What was happening?

+-+-+-+-+

"Hey, okay, there we go." 

Lindsay gently pulled the woman up into a sitting position, hand on her back to help her stay up. She seemed disoriented, her creepy golden eyes wide and staring at Lindsay like she was an alien creature. Barbara lifted one of her arms and tried to awkwardly dress her in an old robe, left in an office closet from a past Short. 

Those golden eyes kept darting around, but she never moved her head, or any other part of her body. It was like she didn't even know she had one to use. 

"Should we call the police or something?" Geoff asked, continuing the conversation going on around the golden girl.

"What, and say that an inanimate object from a video game oozed out of out computer in the form of a naked girl? Yeah, that'll fly real well." Burnie said, rolling his eyes.

"Tellin' ya, still not convinced she's the Tower of Pimps. I mean, how would that even be possible?!" Gavin said, now sitting on the floor with Michael and Ray instead of being held down by them, just staring at the foreign woman.

Her eyes seemed to shift back to Gavin for just a moment before looking back at Lindsay. Barbara had managed to get the robe on her arms and was struggling to tie it around her waist. The golden liquid had soaked through the terrycloth robe, making it difficult to handle.

The others in the office kept discussing what to do next, but Gavin just furrowed his eyebrows. She had definitely just looked at him, hadn't she? She had been staring at Lindsay in some sort of horror, but then turned to Gavin. He held up his hands silently, trying to signal to the room to be quiet.

"Gavin, what are you-?"

"I want to test something..." Gavin whispered, cutting Michael off.

The room fell quiet and all eyes were on Gavin, except for the golden girl's. They still stared straight ahead at the side of Lindsay's face. Her gaze was slightly out of focus, like she was looking at nothing and everything at the same time. She was both far away and hyper aware.

Gavin licked his lips and opened his mouth slightly, preparing his next words. He stared straight at the girl's face, focused on nothing but her.

"Tower of Pimps."

Golden eyes shifted, refocused, and stared directly at Gavin. He swallowed loudly under her stare. Her wrong eyes made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Unnatural, that's what she was. But she responded to him. Or, more accurately, she responded to 'Tower of Pimps'. 

Which did not ease his mind at all.

After a long moment her eyes turned forward again, unfocusing and staring blankly. Everyone in the room had noticed the transaction as well. Silence sat heavily in the room before Ryan spoke up.

'Still not convinced?"

+-+-+-+-+

Ah, that familiar noise.

Understood. It's origins, they were known now.

That name, that string of words. Those were familiar.

These were the beasts, weren't they?

Horrified, scared, but understood.


	4. Chapter 4

_Gah_.  
  
 _Veen_.  
  
Gahveen.  Sounded it out.  _Gahveen_.  Yes, that was it.   
  
That beast was called Gahveen by the others.  Could remember from before.  The beasts were always noisey, but sometimes, when trying hard, could understand them.  
  
They had names for one another.  Gahveen.  Raah.  Maicoul.  Riein. Jaeff. Jahke.  
  
And for me.  They had a name for me.  
  
Tawur ove Peemps.  
  
Recognized, understood.  That referred to me.  Shifting again.  These beasts, they did not sound familiar.  They were moving me, touching me.  Something was happening.  A great shift, suddenly moving upward.    
  
Oh.  _Ow_.    
  
Sudden pain.    
  
What was that?  Why did things hurt?  The pain felt far away and very foreign.  Had known pain, had known it very well, but not like this.  What was this?    
  
Vision shifted down.  So far from the ground?  How?  What was that down there?  Looked like another beast, structureless and loose.  But gold.  Knew gold.  Knew gold very well.  A gold beast?  But where was the rest of it? Two long swooshy bits connecting to one long bit with another two long bits attached to it.  But it was missing the top part.  Where was it?  How was this beast below?  Being lifted above it?    
  
The two beasts moving me were suddenly very close again, very loud.  Their noises were different from Gahveen and the others.  Something tinnier, not louder exactly but…higher?  Something was different.    
  
Could feel them pushing, touching somewhere.  The incomplete beast below started moving, and there was suddenly pain.  Sharp and shooting.  It happened every time one of the beast’s long, swooshy bits moved forward.    
  
 _Torture_.  
  
Being tortured.  
  
 **+-+-+-+-+**  
  
"We're going to take you to the bathroom now, okay?"  
  
Lindsay and Barbara had pulled the girl to her feet, holding her up because she seemed doomed on her own wobbly legs.  Her eyes had stared down at her feet as if she hadn't even noticed them before.  She still didn't move her head, or bend her neck.  Her posture stayed straight and eerily perfect as only her eyes moved around in their sockets.    
  
"Come on, this way." Barbara said sweetly, her hand gently pushing against the girl's back.  
  
"Yeah, let's get all this mucky shit offa ya."  Lindsay added, guiding her toward the door.  Well, more like forcing.  The girl didn't make any effort to lift her legs.  Only when being pushed forward so far that she was in danger of falling over did one black covered foot jerk out in front of her.  This choppy walking continued all the way out the office door, where half of Rooster Teeth's employees parted like the Red Sea to make a path.  
  
Awkward silence and a trail of gucky footprints were left in their wake.  Moments passed before Gus finally took some action.  Everyone who wasn't in Achievement Hunter, himself, Burnie, or Matt was to go back to work.  No tweeting, no Facebook, no RT website.  Not a peep about this was allowed to leave office.  Any pictures taken or statues already posted were to be deleted immediately.  A low mumble of understanding and a few nods were all that was received before Gus ushered the aforementioned list of people into the AH office and locked the door behind them.  
  
" _So_."   
  
That was as far as Gus managed to get before his face was in his hands, letting out a long, frustrated sound.  He rubbed the bridge of his nose before looked up at Gavin.  
  
"Okay.  What the **fuck** did you do?"  
  
Gavin simply sputtered, exasperated.  "Me?!  What makes you think I did this!  Whatever the hell this all is has left me with a gonked out XBox!  Why would I do that to myself!"  
  
"Because only you would come up with something as stupid as this.  What, did you wish really, _really_ hard or something?"  Burnie interjected, throwing his weight down onto the white office couch.  
  
"What? _No_!"  Gavin gripped at his hair, absolutely flushed with frustration.  This was a total nightmare, he thought to himself.  Firstly, he walked into an office with a naked stranger on the ground with all of his stuff destroyed, and now he was getting the blame!  Why was this happening to him!  
  
"To be fair, Gav, you do have, like, an unhealthy fetish with that Tower."  Ray shrugged, now spinning idly in his desk chair.  
  
"Wha- No I do **not**!  I made the damned thing, am I not allowed to like it?!"  
  
"Dude, you keep one in your own secret jerk-off room in your Minecraft house.  It's a little weird."  Michael laughed, unwrapping a cold taco that he picked up off the floor.  
  
"Guys, seriously."  Gus said flatly, continuing, "We have a strange, naked young woman in our office building,  If this is any sort of prank, I need to know.  Because this is not fucking cool.  I know we aren't the most serious company when it comes to office policy but this is too far."  
  
The Achievement Hunter guys all looked at one another, all shrugging and shaking their heads.  None of them had set this up.  And as great of a prank as it could have possibly been, nobody thought anyone is their office was cruel enough to destroy Gavin's XBox and other personal belongings.  Also, hiring a stripper or a prostitute to cover herself in gold, break into the building and pass out on the floor seemed pretty farfetched for any of these guys.  
  
Geoff, shoving his hands in his pockets, was the first to say anything. "I honestly don't think it was any of us, man."  
  
"Yeah, and who else in the company would try to pull this sort of shit?  _Monty_?"  Jack asked, full of sarcasm.    
  
"I'm just going to throw this back out there, but..." Ryan peeped up from his quiet spot in the corner behind the door, "I honestly think that girl might have been the Tower of Pimps.  Like, the real Tower of Pimps.  From Minecraft."  
  
A grumble of protests erupted in the office, and Ryan quickly held his hands up in protest.  "Guys, guys!  Just look around!  Trail of gold starting at Gavin's monitor, smearing on the desk where her body slid, a puddle of gold on the floor by the edge of the desk closest to the monitor.  And look!  She left footprints of that obsidian looking stuff on her way out of the office, but there are none coming in!"  He paused, hoping this would all sink in.  
  
"There's no way she just waltzed in here.  She came in through _there_!"  He said, jutting his finger at Gavin's computer.    
  
"She came in through the monitor!  Gavin left his game of Minecraft on when we left for lunch!"  
  
Looks of horror and realization started to resonate on everyone's faces as Ryan went in for the big finish.  
  
 _"She came out of the game!"_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. Thanks for all the Kudos, guys!

Moving.  Being pushed.  Beasts guiding me.  Where were they taking me?  
  
The pain stopped shooting, but an ache still buzzed.  Still couldn't tell where the pain had been coming from.    
  
Rooms.  Hallways.  These structures were familiar.  They were straight, they were square.  Felt gridded. Felt right and accurate.  Reminded of home, of the hum across the world.  But this place had no hum, just a lot of noise.  
  
The two beasts were close again, noodley forms bobbing and swaying.  They closed a door, leaving us in a room.  They pulled and fussed with me some more, pain radiating from more far away places.  They forced me into a smaller room, tiny and boxy, and moved about some more.  
  
 _Wet_.  
  
Suddenly I was getting wet.  
  
Raining?  No, vision shifting upward, there was a ceiling.  And it was too warm for rain.  Rain was cold, very cold.  This was hotter than rain, like it was being sent through a furnace.    
  
 **+-+-+-+-+**  
  
Swift fingers flew across an iPhone screen before it was pocketed again.  
  
"Okay," Gus started, adjusting his phone is his pants, "They checked the tapes.  They only camera that would have seen anything is the one in the lobby, but seeing as the door to your office was closed, that won't do any good.  But they did say that nobody entered the building or walked in the lobby in the time you guys were gone."  
  
"And we don't have a parking lot camera outside this window, do we?"  Jack asked, checking the sill.  Going by all the dust collected on it, it didn't look like anyone had even touched this window in months.  
  
"I'll have them check the lot cams, but I doubt anything will show up."  Gus sighed, pulling his phone back out.  
  
Since Ryan dropped that bomb of realization, Gavin hadn't been taking it so well.  He sat on the floor, hands pulling at his hair and head between his knees.  His eyes were wide, and his tongue kept nervously licking at his lips.  
  
Somehow, this was all his fault.  He flubbed up and apparently was to blame for a video game puking all over his desk.  Because somehow he is the only one who could bollocks something up that badly.  
  
His mind was a big jumble of shit, literally not able to wrap his mind around what was happening.  How was everyone else taking this so easily with stride?  This was weird, wasn't it?  Video game characters - not that the Tower of Pimps was much of a character - didn't just pop out of their games!  That was completely, physical impossible!    
  
He had to be dreaming.  
  
 _Had_ to be.  
  
He tried pinching at his scalp, trying to wake himself up, but all that did was add to his growing headache.  
  
Okay, maybe not a dream, he thought to himself.  Besides, dreams involving naked women didn't usually go like this...  
  
Ray, still moving back and forth in his desk chair, took notice to Gavin's distress and wheeled over to him.  He awkwardly patted Gavin's hair, doing his best to calm his friend down.  Unfortunately, " _Hot, Mute Video Game Woman Kool-Aid Man-ing Through Your Computer_ " wasn't a chapter in the 'How to Comfort Friends' handbook.  
  
"Hey man, try not to stress it too much."  Ray offered, not sounding too convinced of his own advice.  "I mean, yeah, it's not the easiest shit to just, like, brush off, but I guess it could be worse...?"  
  
"Really, Ray? ' _It could be worse_ '?" Michael scoffed from behind Ray, leaning against the shelves of games.  "Yeah. "Look at it this way, Gav, at least it wasn't a creeper!'" He mocked, imitating Ray's voice the best he could.   
  
"Hey, at least I'm trying to help!  Not like anyone else was trying to talk him outta the fetal position!"  
  
"Wait a minute..." Gavin finally spoke up, but was quickly talked over.  
  
"What, like this isn't weird for everyone?!" Michael asked loudly, waving his arms around, exasperated.  
  
"Yeah, Ray, this is pretty fucking messed up for everyone involved..." Geoff said from his desk, setting down his bottle of whiskey, which had been drained considerably since this morning.  
  
"Yeah, including the metallic woman we now have on our hands."  Gus grumbled, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.  
  
"Guys." Gavin said, but was still ignored.  
  
"Yeah, can't forget about her.  If she really is the Tower, what are we supposed to do with her?  We can't leave her in the office like we did with Joe or some shit." Burnie asked, leaning forward from his seat on the sofa.  
  
"Oh shit, you're right." Jack said, eyes wide. "What _ARE_ we supposed to do with her?"  
  
"Do you think she'd be able to tell us where to take her or something?" Ray raised his eyebrows, looking hopeful.  
  
"She doesn't seem like she even knows she has legs, Ray.  I doubt she can tell us any thing even if she wanted to." Ryan sighed, still standing against the door.  
  
"Guys." Gavin repeated louder now, getting annoyed.  
  
"Well, heh, at least we don't have to worry about her running away." Michael laughed, managing to earn a few chuckles from the guys.  Well, except for Gavin, who was now positively steaming on the floor.  First he was getting the blame, then nobody was freaking out with him, and now nobody was listening!    
  
He had had enough of this bullshit.  Almost knocking Ray's chair over, Gavin jumped up, waving around his angry fists.  " _GUYS_!" He yelled, dragging out the word for emphasis, making sure everyone would shut the hell up.  
  
And shut up they did, but before Gavin could get another word in the office door opened.  
  
Geoff let out a long whistle, and a quiet ' _damn_ ' came from somewhere in the room.  
  
Gavin gulped down a heavy breath as golden eyes stared at him from the doorway.  There she was, the supposed Tower of Pimps, now squeaky clean and standing in the doorway between Barbara and Lindsay.  Well, they were actually holding her up, but same difference.  
  
"Yeah, I know right?"  Barbara laughed.  
  
"She cleans up damn good.  Literally."  Lindsay added.  
  
"But we might need to Drain-O the shower.  I think all that shit clogged the pipes..."  
  
Gavin was hardly listening to them, though.  He was far too distracted by the woman with the golden eyes.  Her skin was a weird color, not quite peach but not quite orange.  A natural golden tan color was probably the closest way to describe it.  And her hair - damn, did she have a lot of hair - was not blonde.  No, it was golden, literal strands of gold.  It was wet and not brushed out, but it still had a definite shimmer and shine to it.  Dry it must look like a solid block of gold, Gavin thought.  
  
"Nice outfit.  I approve, 10 outa 10." Ray nodded, giving the girls a thumbs up.  
  
This made Gavin's eyes drop, giving him a view of lovely, exposed legs.  Her feet were no longer black and covered in slime, but slender, curved and tanned.  His eyes traveled up and up her legs, discovering that she was in fact not wearing pants.    
  
"We thought it was appropriate.  And we had an extra one in a box upstairs."    
  
Creased as if it was just out of the box, a grey Tower of Pimps shirt ironically preserved what modestly the girl had left. The large, boxy tee shirt hung limply from her shoulders, covering all the way down to her mid-thighs.    
  
Gavin let out a long hiss of breath before his voice cracked and squeaked. "Oh, _bollocks_."


End file.
